5+ tips for having a sensitive online conversation

HR/learning in organisations
15/5/2020

Working from home, a limited number of people in a room, keeping a distance of one and a half meters... Not ideal for sensitive topics of conversation.

Due to the corona crisis, we have reinvented many ingrained rules. Working from home, a limited number of people in a room, keeping a distance of one and a half meters... Fortunately, thanks to a good dose of creativity, most employees still manage to achieve an excellent business output. But how can you compensate for the lack of live contact with more sensitive topics?

Remote conversation but still close by: how do you do that?

Do you remember it? The pre-corona era? It now seems like a different life: the ease with which you invited applicants to the office, had an absenteeism interview with someone in a small conference room, or held meetings with the entire department in a crowded conference room. It was all so common.

Until the gate was locked in mid-March due to the corona threat.

The working Netherlands came to a stop, beeping loudly. Working from home became the motto, unless you were active in a 'vital profession'. Almost everyone hid in the house, as if it were a shelter. And we continued to work. Laptops were buzzing, cell phones were beeping. And that's how we learned how to keep the economy running.

But of course, we can't stop there. A status quo is not enough.

We must not stand still, we have to keep going. Keep building, keep learning, bring in fresh ideas and fresh people. Only then will an organisation stay healthy.

And that means: HR has to get to work. With sharp job interviews, motivating absenteeism management and an effective evaluation cycle.

But how do you do that, with all the restrictions? When live contact is not (yet) possible and everyone seems to have grown up with their screens? Maybe these tips will help you make online contact warm and close.

Tip 1. Face-to-face is also possible online

Not everyone is blessed with the talent to turn a phone call into a complete radio play.

Of course, you hear a voice, but you don't see the facial expressions and body language of your interlocutor. As a result, it's less easy to read between the lines and before you know it, you're just missing the essentials.

Therefore, make eagerly use the possibilities of video calling. Don't make things too complicated when it comes to one-on-one conversations.

No trips to Zoom, Hangouts or other systems where you first spend half an hour with settings (“I don't have a picture”), getting rid of cracks (“You sound like an echo pit”) or unreadable texts.

Use what almost everyone uses for home, garden and kitchen stuff: WhatsApp. With camera function. A child can do laundry. So you can still look into each other's eyes without extra stress.

Tip 2. Slow down

Yes, we believe in video calls. But still, it's different. Information that comes to us via screens is processed differently in our brain. It takes more energy, we drop out earlier.

Maybe someone also feels a bit uncomfortable because the other person is intruding into the home environment. You feel extra watched, because a camera offers little escape space.

Try to take this into account, show understanding and respect for someone's privacy.

Keep your online conversation limited in time and content. Instead, cut that big work meeting into two shorter sessions. Dose emotionally charged conversations by offering someone a chance to calmly prepare via email.

And send the documentation about that complicated project well before the meeting, so that everyone can read in. That should have been standard in the “old normal”, but is now extra important.

Tip 3. A good place for your online conversation

In theory, you can of course have an online conversation anywhere, as long as you have a good internet connection. But that doesn't work that way in practice. A business conversation is a business conversation. Especially when it comes to privacy-sensitive issues or when someone's career depends on the conversation.

You don't have such a conversation at the checkout counter at the convenience store, in the schoolyard or on the train.

So make sure you have a good place for your online conversation. Sit in a quiet room where you won't be disturbed by a dog, child, or cat barking at your keyboard.

But not only that. Give your interlocutor such a good environment as well. Therefore, clearly agree on who will call the other person and at what time, so that he can take it into account.

Also, take a look around before turning on the camera. Is the view behind you representative and businesslike enough? Doesn't your interlocutor see bikini photos, stacks of laundry or empty wine bottles during the job interview?

Tip 4. Weigh your words

We all know them: those disagreements that got out of hand thanks to awkwardly worded emails.

That was already a thing before corona. But now that we don't meet live often, we have even less chance of talking things out directly. Let alone pat each other on the shoulders for a moment, shake hands and go on happily together again.

Moreover, after a few weeks of “new normal”, many people are extra on edge.

So weigh your words even more on a gold scale than before when you write something. If you're joking, you don't mean something literally or you don't understand the other person: choose a suitable smiley to breathe the air.

Do you notice that an email exchange is escalating? Then pick up the phone and talk it out.

Yes, sometimes you have to put your ego aside for a while. And then reap the benefits of good cooperation.

Tip 5. Go for clarity

One person is visually oriented, while the other likes to read information in black and white. So many people, so many processing methods. Therefore, try as much as possible blended to work, then you will accommodate everyone as much as possible.

A written summary of the agreements made after a video call can remove a lot of ambiguity, even for the people who were present at the conversation.

Do you have an online meeting with many attendees or a presentation that really needs focus? Make clear agreements about muting the microphone or opt for a private chat function.

This prevents a chicken coop where everyone cackles together or a chat box that only distracts with non-information (”Hey Marjolein, are you here too?!”).

Need more tips?

We are used to working online and have fallen into most of the pitfalls ourselves. So we also have a lot of tips in this area. Can you still use a helping hand online? Please feel free to contact us for an informal conversation.

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